Laurie and his family have decided to give the go ahead to letting my mother in law go peacefully and pain free with increased medication. This has been set up today so she will probably be gone by the weekend.
Most of you saw my post on Monday about her asking for Champagne and cake. This is definitely the way I want to go. Champagne, cake and a concoction of drugs.
This last eight weeks, in which my ma in law has been in the care home up the road from me, has been a huge learning curve. Not only have I learned a lot about myself, but also about my two sisters in law. The main thing I have learned is that one of them, in particular, I don’t want anywhere near me on my death bed. She crowds you and talks nonstop. Every time my ma in law opened her eyes she would pounce on her, shoving water and food in her mouth. Several times, this week, I just had to leave the room. Laurie says she has been manic. The staff at the care home avoid her.
I totally understand everyone deals with grief in different ways. For example I was very angry for days after my own mother died many years ago. For Laurie this has been a therapeutic time for both him and his mother as their relationship has not always been good. For his other sister this has been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions. We have been quiet worried about her state of mind but she seems to have accepted the situation now.
I planned on this post being a discussion about assisted death but have ended up focussing more on the affect death has on those left behind.
The ma-in-law is in a bad way. Sadly she has days left. This morning, however, she woke up and asked for a drink.
"Would you like some water?" I asked.
"What do you want to drink?"
She struggled to get the whole word out as her meds are messing with her brain to speech pathways, but got the word champagne out with a smatter of a grin.
"Champagne?" I asked.
"And some cake" she said.
We got her champagne and cake both of which she relished.My heart. Truly.
Preparations are taking place for the ma in laws funeral.
She’s still with us but as a Jewess she must be buried within 48 hours of death.
I’ve been to many cremations but never a burial (it better not rain). Never a Jewish service and whatsmore, as Laurie is the eldest son, we will be sitting Shiva at our house. This normally lasts for seven days.
Thankfully Laurie is a Jewish Athiest (his description) and the rest of the family, who are religious, are Reform Jews. I hope this means Shiva will just last for the one day (or the afternoon).
Anyway, I will just stand in the background and await my instructions like the good Catholic Athiest girl I am…
Sadly I started the day off discussing DNR forms with the care home my mother in law is in.
The doctor visited this morning as she was so weak. He prescribed her antibiotics and told me regrettfully she is “coming to the end”. It could be days, weeks or even months.
At 96 years old though, she’s had a good innings…
There’s a lot of police with guns present in Waterloo station this afternoon.
Instead of making me feel secure, it’s making me worry about what they know that I don’t!
I had two mock exams last week in bookkeeping. One computerised and the other manual. I was sure I would get 100% in the computerised and miserably fail the manual.
Well, In fact, to my shock, I failed the computer one by one mark and passed the manual exam by eight marks!
The actual exams are next week. In the meantime I’ll be in the corner with my books.
The ma in law went quite peculiar last week.
For those who don’t know she’s a 96 year old, 70 pound, bag of crooked bones but tough as old boots,little old lady who recently moved to a.care home up the road from me.
Anyway, she went very weak, was in and out of sleep/consciousness, could barely speak clearly and certainly could not move any part of her body by herself.
Seriously, we thought she was a gonna.
Thankfully, this happened to be the symptoms of a urinary infection. A day or two on antibiotics and she’s back to her normal, chatty, joking self. Who would have thought a little infection, easily treated, would make somone go quite doo-lally!
Another, not what I thought it would be like, experience I had was when my boss suffered a heart attack at work. I expected a heart attack to be dramatic, clutching the chest, falling to the floor, red in the face. But no. He just felt peculiar, sweaty, clammy hands, not even the expected pain in the arm. He felt like he wanted to draw back his shoulders and stretch out his chest but most of all, just a bit out of sorts. Not what I thought a heart attack would look like at all. One of his clients even thought he was having an anxiety attack and dismissed any call for an ambulance! It’s a good job my sister is a nurse and on the end of the phone.
Anyway. Something to ponder on. Maybe to put away in the memory banks. You never know when you might witness such a thing yourself.
I’m so glad we didn’t have Proms in the UK in the 80’s. Can you imagine??!!!?!!